Reflections on Friendship Day
Reflections on Friendship Day
Happy Friendship Day, Dear Readers!
“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”— Thomas Aquinas
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
A true friend is like Lord Krishna. No one exemplifies the ideals of friendship more perfectly than He does. Sudama was Krishna's childhood friend. According to the traditional narrative, even though Sudama had once concealed the truth from Krishna, Krishna never allowed the slightest blemish to fall upon their friendship. When Sudama, crushed by extreme poverty, came to meet his friend in Dwaraka, Krishna was deeply moved by his condition. He welcomed him with boundless love, personally washed his feet, accepted with great joy the humble gift of beaten rice brought by Sudama on behalf of his wife, and eventually blessed him with prosperity and dignity.
Goswami Tulsidas beautifully says:
जे न मित्र दुख होहिं दुखारी। तिन्हहि बिलोकत पातक भारी।।
Meaning: Those who do not feel distressed by the suffering of their friends commit a grave moral failing merely by their indifference.
Therefore, always stand by your friends. If you cannot solve all their problems, at least do whatever help is within your capacity. Above all, never insult someone whom you have once accepted as a friend, for the consequences of wounded friendship can be tragic.
The Mahabharata presents one such example through the story of Dronacharya and King Drupada.
While studying together at the ashram of Sage Bharadwaja, Drona and Drupada were close friends. Prince Drupada affectionately promised that once he became king, he would share half of his kingdom with Drona.
Years later, Drona fell into severe poverty. One day his young son, Ashwatthama, wished to drink milk, but Drona could not even afford a cow. Remembering his childhood friend, he travelled to the capital of Panchala, hoping Drupada would help him.
Power and wealth, however, had filled King Drupada with pride. He refused to recognize Drona and humiliated him, saying, "How can a king and a poor Brahmin be friends? Friendship exists only between equals."
Deeply hurt, Dronacharya silently resolved to avenge the insult and left for Hastinapura.
There he became the military teacher of both the Kauravas and the Pandavas. When their education was complete, Arjuna offered his guru dakshina by defeating King Drupada in battle and bringing him captive before Dronacharya.
Drona accepted only half of Drupada's kingdom and said, "Now we are equals. Only now can there truly be friendship between us."
But the chain of revenge had already begun.
Humiliated, Drupada performed a great sacrificial ritual from which Dhrishtadyumna and Draupadi were born. Dhrishtadyumna was destined to kill Dronacharya.
On the fifteenth day of the Kurukshetra War, Dronacharya killed King Drupada. Later, when a false report spread that Drona's son Ashwatthama had died, the grief-stricken Drona laid down his weapons and entered meditation. At that vulnerable moment, Dhrishtadyumna beheaded him.
Ashwatthama, in turn, avenged his father's death. According to the Sauptika Parva of the Mahabharata, he entered the Pandava camp at night with Kripacharya and Kritavarma and killed the sleeping Dhrishtadyumna in a brutal act of revenge.
Thus, a single insult to a friend eventually grew into an endless cycle of vengeance that consumed generations.
Lord Rama also stands as an ideal friend. He relieved the suffering of His friends, honoured His promises, and generously supported those who sought His help.
When Lord Rama visited Shabari's hermitage in search of Mother Sita, Shabari advised Him:
पंपा सरहि जाहु रघुराई। तहँ होइहि सुग्रीव मिताई।
सो सब कहिहि देव रघुबीरा। जानतहूँ पूछहु मतिधीरा।
Meaning: Go to the sacred Pampa Lake, O Lord Rama. There you will befriend Sugriva, who will tell You everything You seek, although You already know all things.
Sugriva, frightened by the presence of two unknown warriors, sent Hanuman to discover who they were. Hanuman immediately recognized them as Lord Rama and Lakshmana. He introduced the two brothers to Sugriva and brought about one of the greatest friendships in the Ramayana.
तब हनुमंत उभय दिसि की सब कथा सुनाय।
पावक साखी देइ कर जोडी प्रीति द्रढाय।।
Meaning: Hanuman narrated the stories of both sides, then, with Fire as the sacred witness, united Rama and Sugriva in an enduring bond of friendship.
Some readers may wonder why Fire was chosen as the witness.
In the Indian tradition, Fire symbolizes purity, truth, and sacred commitment. Just as Hindu marriages are solemnized before the sacred fire, Hanuman invoked Fire as the witness to establish a friendship founded upon trust and righteousness.
Another famous teaching from the Ramcharitmanas reminds us:
धीरज धरम मित्र अरु नारी। आपतकाल परखिए चारी।
Meaning: Patience, righteousness, friendship, and one's spouse are truly tested only in times of adversity.
This verse teaches that true friendship reveals itself not during comfort, but during hardship.
A true friend always encourages another to walk on the path of righteousness. Even Maricha, despite serving Ravana, repeatedly advised him not to abduct Sita. Ravana ignored this wise counsel in anger. Finding no honourable escape, Maricha eventually chose death at the hands of Lord Rama rather than perish under Ravana's wrath, thereby attaining liberation.
After befriending Sugriva, Lord Rama faithfully fulfilled His promise. He freed Sugriva from Bali's oppression by slaying Bali. At the same time, He acted with justice by making Bali's son, Angada, the Crown Prince.
Friendship also requires keeping one's promises.
After regaining his kingdom, Sugriva became absorbed in royal comforts and neglected his promise to search for Sita. Lord Rama expressed His disappointment, saying:
जेहिं सायक मारा मैं बाली। तेहिं सर हतौं मूढ़ कहँ काली॥
Meaning: "The very arrow with which I slew Bali can also strike down one who forgets his duty."
Even then, Lord Rama did not abandon His friend. Instead, He sent Lakshmana to remind Sugriva of his responsibility. Hanuman understood Sugriva's mistake, advised him wisely, and helped restore the friendship. Sugriva repented, met Lord Rama with humility, and immediately dispatched the Vanara armies in all directions to search for Mother Sita.
A true friend is one of life's greatest blessings.
Fair-weather friends are plentiful, but a true friend is a rare jewel—one who stands beside us in times of adversity, guides us towards righteousness, keeps promises, forgives shortcomings, and remains loyal regardless of wealth, status, or circumstance.
May we all strive to become such friends.
Happy Friendship Day!
Thank you for reading.
Prof. Rama Shankar Shukla
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